A Night in the Lives of Fred and George Weasley
by Am
Summary: A bit different from my normal format, but "night in the lives" works better for the incorrigible Weasley twins. Also a bit shorter, but of higher quality. If you love this story, you'll probably like my others.


Fred and George Weasley sneaked out of Gryffindor Tower in matching navy blue pajamas. Not only were they comfortable to sleep in, they were useful for sneaking, being dark-colored and loose. The brothers blended into the shadows easily, making their way down a hallway and staircase to the nearest entrance to the Caverns of Depravity.

The Caverns of Depravity were a series of secret rooms that they were sure no one knew about. They were the twins' headquarters, from which they planned their most malicious schemes without worrying about being overheard, and a storage area for their more dicey equipment. This was where they kept the really _big_ firecrackers, the really potent stink bombs, and a few boxes of prototype odds and ends that might someday find a purpose. The brothers sat down on a couch, and George fondly remembered the night they had stolen it from the Ravenclaw common room.

"So, George," said Fred, sipping a bubbly, strawberry-flavored drink, "what havoc shall we wreak tonight?"

"I think it's the Slytherin's turn to get it," George said. "We've been far too easy on them for the past few weeks, and they're starting to get smug."

"Then what?"

"Let's see…we could continue our…uh, _tours_ of the teachers' offices. I've been wondering if Professor Trelawney still has that 'distracting and unsightly' quill she took away from me in third year. Remember, the one that flashed in five different neon colors?" George grinned, and Fred echoed that grin.

"Bet you she's been using it herself," Fred said jokingly. "Oh, and the Tongue-Twisting Tarts have a bug or two that I was going to work out tonight, if you want to help." Tongue-Twisting Tarts, an invention of the twins, caused one to say one's sentences backward (in other words, backward sentences one's say to one caused).

"Sure," George said. "What kind of bug?"

"Apparently they work twice as long on girls."

"This is a bug? Okay, okay, let's take a look at it then…"

§ § §

About ten minutes later, Fred and George left the Caverns of Depravity, wands in pockets, on their way to the staff room to drop a handful of Tongue-Twisting Tarts in the candy bowl.

"So," Fred said, chewing a caramel snitched from the bowl, "now do we shall what?" George whipped around. "Only kidding. This _is_ a caramel. I made sure."

George shot his brother a look. "Now let's get the Slytherins. I was thinking public humiliation this time. Something the other houses will see at breakfast."

"Hmm…something that'd affect them all…that's a toughie. Let me see…no, they'd notice that…. Got it!" Fred snapped his fingers. "We could do something to their showers!"

"Excellent! Dye?"

"Been done. A Freezing Charm?"

"Nah, that leaves out the public humiliation part. Tempting, though." Suddenly a light shone in his eyes. "Remember the Potions accident Ron was telling us about? With the—"

  
"—_Hair-Growing Potion_?" Fred said. "Diluted so it won't show up before breakfast?" George nodded, a wicked smile curving across his face. "George, you're a genius!"

"It runs in the family," George said modestly. "Come on, let's get down to the Potions classroom. Snape'll have some left, I'm sure."

§ § §

Finding a large jug containing a few liters of Hair-Growing Potion, the boys lugged it up to the Slytherin bathroom. They unscrewed the showerheads and poured a bit of the potion into each pipe. "There," said Fred, "they should have a nice coat of fur by the time they come down to eat."

George cackled. "I can't wait."

Then they made their way down to a corridor full of paintings, including the bowl of fruit that was the entrance to the kitchens. The twins had made the rather handy discovery that most of the other paintings led somewhere, too. A palmistry diagram of the human hand led to the Divination classroom. Arriving, Fred and George picked the lock on a door in the back and entered Professor Trelawney's office.

"Oh, man!" Fred said, sneezing.

"She goes even heavier on the incense in here than in the room," George observed, eyes watering. He opened a window and stuck his head out. The air cleared. Fred and George commenced their search. These searches had turned up all kind of interesting things in the other teachers' offices. Professor McGonagall had a huge Chocolate Frog card collection, and Professor Sprout was apparently a closet _Martin Miggs_ fan.

The bookcase held mostly books on different methods of divination, from astrology to rune stones, although Fred did find a half-dozen romance novels on the bottom shelf, with titles like_ Star-Crossed Lovers_ and _Fate Brought Them Together_. There was a strange globe in a corner, and a few crystal balls on tables and shelves. George found his neon quill stuffed in a drawer, along with the professor's stash of butterscotch candies. Fred went to look in her desk.

"Here's something interesting. _Student Predictions_," he said, reading the title on a scroll. He unrolled it further. "It's predictions about us! Everyone at school!"

"Well, now we know how she spends her spare time," George said, looking over from the other side of the room, where he was investigating a velvet-wrapped deck of Tarot cards.

"Oh, hey, get this," Fred said, reading. "According to her, Ginny's going to marry Draco Malfoy!"

"I always knew it was love at first sight. What does it say about us?"

"I'm going to marry Katie Bell and we'll have three beautiful children—all boys, apparently. And it says that you," Fred said with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, "will die tonight due to an accident involving an exploding cabinet."

George jumped away from the cabinet he had been about to open. He glared at his brother. "Okay, okay, that wasn't funny," Fred said.

"I'm going to put a Tongue-Twisting Tart in your pancakes tomorrow for that," George said, but his good humor was already returning. "See anything else?"

"Nah. Let's go."

They were edging down a hallway when they found a pair of golden glowing eyes regarding them. Then the cat turned and disappeared. "Uh-oh. Filch'll be hear any moment," Fred whispered. He vanished into a closet with his brother close behind.

They were quiet for about three minutes, and then George turned to Fred. "Fred," he said seriously, "correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the closet that only opens every three days?" He watched his brother's expression turn horrified for a minute, then said, "Got you back."

Fred looked outraged, and then grinned. Just then the door opened. A pair of blue eyes observed them, one eyebrow cocked. "And what are you boys doing here?" Dumbledore asked.

"Looking for something," George said, caught unaware.

"And what might that something be?" Dumbledore said.

"My toenail clippers," Fred said glibly. "Lost them a few days ago. I thought I could do without them, but no. You should see how long my nails are getting." He wiggled his toes for emphasis.

"I see," Dumbledore said. "I think you boys should call it a night. Before I decide to take points from Gryffindor."

"Yes, Headmaster," they said in perfect unison, and scampered off, leaving Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling merrily, behind them.

§ § §

Note: Congratulations to azira, amy, and Trinity Day, who each get fifty-nine thousand brownie points for guessing that Ginny was reading the Belgariad (great books). And thanks to all of my reviewers: Emilie, Mandy, Mrs Goodtaste, azira, *~*Ginny*~*, Chran Basil (could work; I haven't read much Mercedes Lackey yet), ginny5 (Hmm, Ginny/Seamus. I'd have to think about that), kibee (seventeen _o_'s!), amy, Adelina, College Girl, Hermione L. Granger (Ron is fun and easy to write for; you can probably expect more of him), Trinity Day, Hermionefan (I agree), ~Rose~, METMA Mandy, HPRules, Rebecca Starre, metal mouth ("the kind of guy you would…" what? Do tell), and NOT TELLING (love the name).

And Meghan, I still want to know what you meant by that comment about Seamus.


End file.
